Winging it...

Well, I've finally made up my mind. I've decided that today I am going to quit my job. There are many reasons why, the main one simply being I've had enough. It's gone from the odd bad day to every day me coming home feeling terrible and not wanting to go back. I think when it gets to that point it's time to leave. Naturally I will miss the ladies but when it's time to go there's not much you can do. I've re signed up to the agency, I'm also hoping to get an evening job and work in the pub downstairs, so at least there will be some regularity ( I hope!) unfortunately it means the wedding is on hold for now :( I am hoping to get into something admin based eventually, I've just signed up for a free IT course which is a recognised qualification, takes 16 weeks to complete, but any time I'm not working I will be working on it! Luckily Mr A is supporting me in my decision, he understands how unhappy I've been. I just wish it hadn't come to this :(

stitchy bug came back!!

Managed to do about two hours last night. It's amazing what you can get done when the house is tidy and your head isn't chock full of other worries. I didn't get a whole lot done but it is better than nothing. Got lazy on the backstitch of the frog, so decided to start one of the others, might do backstitching at the end, along with the white for the eyes. Here it is!!

Getting there...

Well, my little cocktail of medicines appears to be kicking in, not quite as out of breath, although a small walk to a couple of local shops and back had me stopping on the way home clinging to a lamp post!! I've got antibiotics too, I went back to the doctors yesterday as I was still feeling very puffed out, so he gave me those to rule out any infection. Those tablets are worse than the ones I took for my back! At least I got two doses of those, this morning I took them before breakfast (bad move) and half hour later I felt seriously queasy. OH has been on them before for something else and he said they might make me feel pukey. I didn't listen though because not everyone has the same reactions to drugs, figured I'd be ok. so tomorrow I'm going to try and make sure I've eaten. I think I'll have to stick to taking them in the morning because I don't think I'd like lying there in the dark feeling sick, that's not nice. Luckily it's only for a few days and they're all gone. Just hope when the chest clears up I won't need the inhaler anymore...bit self conscious about using it in front of people! Decided not to go into work today, think it was the right thing to do, if walking to the local shop does me in, then I'm not ready for work yet. Got tomorrow off and then I'm back in Monday afternoon. Still busily looking for something else, I really can't wait to try something different. I've applied to a place in birmingham where they will train me up on the job, the money is pants but it's better hours. I'm also thinking of shelling out a bit and doing something called an 'ECDL' qualification, apparently it's nationally recognised and uses all the skills office employers look for. Told OH if I haven't found something in three months I quit, and that's that, will just have to wing it, or if i get these courses sorted at least that's on my belt. It could even go on my CV that I'm working towards them. Feeling really bad that I haven't managed to get any stitching done, just not got the bug atm!! too many other things going on.

Well, that was a lil scary

So, went off to the docs and saw the nurse, soon as I walked into her office she was like 'oh!' she checked me over, everything normal, she didn't think it was asthma, although I'm convinced I had it when I was small but mum says no, but maybe she forgot. So there was I, gasping like a landed fish thinking 'just figure it out dammit, I can't breathe!!' So she got the senior doc in, who incidentally is my gp. Told him the tablets he gave me for my back were horrid! He made me do a peak flow test, lung function came out at 68%, he said it looked like asthma aggravated by this cold. Told him it made sense cos every time I get a cold my chest gets bad for 24 hours but this went on for two days. So chances are I've had it for a long time, especially as I've lost count of the number of times people have asked me if I've got asthma! Told him about my raised temps running between 100-103f so he sent me off for a chest x ray to rule out pneumonia, steroids and inhalers was enough of a whammy, chest x ray made it scary!! So, have been sat at home, breathing is a lil better, although I have just been sat here quiet and it's started off again, he said if steroids don't work by tomorrow I have to go back in and they will get x ray results sharpish. He also said if I catch cold to always carry my inhaler!! Yes sir!! Lol

Thankyou to Nicola at http://stitch-nicola.blogspot.co.uk This is my first ever blog award!!! :)) There are conditions attached to this award, so here is the text I copied from Thea with my blogs added to the end: Liebster is a German word meaning favourite, dearest or beloved. The Liebster Blog Award is awarded by bloggers to other new bloggers who have fewer than 200 followers, to help spread the word about their blogs and to help them gain wider recognition. The Liebster award comes with four conditions that each recipient must satisfy when accepting. 1. Choose 5 up-and-coming blogs with less than 200 followers to award the Liebster to. 2. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them. 3. Post the award on your blog. List the bloggers you are giving the award to with links to their sites. Leave comments on their blog so they know about the award. 4. Share 5 random facts about yourself that people don't know about you. so now I have to award this to five other people first up is 1.http://joysze.blogspot.co.uk/ your blog is always beautiful to look at and I loved your chinese mandala garden!! 2.http://diaryofamanbroider.blogspot.co.uk/ your stitching is amazing, plus I've never seen anyone stitch so fast in my life. 3.http://mangogirl-naughtscrossstitches.blogspot.co.uk/ Love reading your blog, and your boxers were fabulous. 4.http://kingdomofcrossesqueenofflosses.blogspot.co.uk/ I love to look at your latest projects 5. http://crossstitchdude.blogspot.co.uk/ Your work is fab, it's nice to see more men cross stitching! Five random facts about me... 1. my little fingers are double jointed! 2. I detest anything flavoured with aniseed, liquorice or fennel 3. I tried Cherry Cola the other day and wondered why I didn't like it. It's because it tastes like Dr Pepper 4. my worst nightmare would be getting locked in a room somewhere. with spiders. 5. My dream date night would be chinese and a pint before going to see a concert or a film.

Bleugh :/

Well, I've been off sick since Tuesday, what started as a heavy cold appears to have turned into bronchitis. I have spent the last three nights sat bolt upright in bed, with hardly any sleep. The last two days I've had a temperature regularly running between 100f and 103f, seriously not good! Now I know how a lobster feels when it's cooked!! Thankfully that has come down now, although I am still struggling to eat properly, I might have to stock up on soup today. Rang the docs and she said there were no appointments (why am I not surprised) so she got the triage nurse to ring me back, who almost immediately said I have to come in, so I have an appointment at 11.50 this morning. Spoke to my boss and said I wasn't coming in again, she asked if I had any idea when I'm coming back and I said I've no idea. Being able to sleep and eat would help. In other news, I've had a job offer via email. It's working in finance, no experience necessary, they will train you online and they will pay you to take the course. I have asked for more info, apparently they Re opening an office in Birmingham so I just need to find out where! The money is fantastic, double my current salary! That'd sure help with the wedding planning and sorting out the house.

Mothers day

Today is mothers day. So, to my mum in Florida and my soon-to-be mother in law, happy mothers day!! My mum was never a great one for the day itself, plus now she lives in Florida it falls on a different day. We went out today to get stuff for mr A's mum, she is the hardest person in the world to buy for, it's insane. Shes got a big bouquet of flowers and a card from us both, I feel bad that we didn't get her a gift but yet again we left it til the last minute!! Have to be off to work in a bit, hopefully all will be nice and calm being as its Sunday, and I am off tomorrow! Hopefully I can get up early again and crack on with the housework, I also have to take Grubbs to the vets first thing. Would also like to do some stitching if I can, it's been ages since I picked up my frogs! Probably just as well in a way, have not got any money to buy stash. I didn't realise putting a £100 away a month for the wedding would leave me so skint! And that's without my loan or a big credit card bill to pay off. Although I did put £300 on it to upgrade my computer, that should arrive tomorrow which means I can play LA noire, I'll have to cook something extra nice for Mr A so he will fit everything for me. So I won't be spending for a couple of months until card is cleared again. £100 of it doesn't count, cos it was vets fees that I'm claiming on my pets insurance. Have decided I'm going to start leaving my purse at home, if I haven't got it, I can't spend it!! Just got enough for taxi home tonight, then it's into the overdraft. Really hope the pay is nice at the end of this month, will be better then!

Agh!!

That's how I feel ATM. Stressed out, burned out, and pissed off! (excuse the language). So, anyway, in terms of work, it feels like I've been spun round 360 degrees and now my head is on the wrong way. I went off on a weeks break (much needed and not long enough), and I was defined as one thing, go back and EVERYTHING has changed at once. I knew changes were coming and I knew they'd be fast, but this is something else. My job role has changed. Before, I could run a team of staff and work side by side, dipping in and out to do paperwork.

Now, I run the team from behind a door, suddenly I've got loads of responsibility that I wasn't expecting. Rumour has it that theres going to be more money in it for me.
That's not the only thing though. I regularly don't finish until 10pm, its usually 10.30 before I get in the door (sometimes later if I get held up) and its become very hard to switch off.
Consequently I am driving everyone crazy!
I thought about quitting today, but realised (yet again) like it or not I'm good at what I do. Least now I know how all those superheroes must have felt in the marvel comics! I don't want to be a superhero though...I didn't ask to be good at my job, I try to be average and I want more. I get more and then I get stressed out.
mr A says my job role has changed and I need to get used to it, and I have a feeling he's right, I'll be fine once I've adjusted.
There are a few things I want though, if I'm to formally take these responsibilities. Two days off back to back for one!! ATM I only get one at a time, it's not enough time to recover. It might mean I have to do 7 or 8 days solid but I wouldn't mind that.
A guaranteed weekend off every month, without fail. I haven't had one yet this month, and I feel like I've barely seen mr A.

I did my back in on Monday night, and I was off sick wednesday and thursday, didnt get any stitching done, couldn't get comfy.
I have decided to start sorting my brain out though. Rule one, doing lates is fine, just means if I wanna get the most out of my mornings I need to get up earlier. I've done it on and off for the last week or so and it does help. And I'm not as tired as I thought I would be. Decided its 7am on weekdays and 8am on a Sunday if I'm not working.
I need to get back to my stitching. So often I say I haven't got time. I need to make time! Getting up early should sort that out.
Mr A are trying to plan a wedding but we have no idea how much we want to spend or how we want to do it. I'm for a quiet wedding, but mr A wants to make sure we have a nice day. That's fine, but it doesn't have to cost the earth. The wedding is a formality, it's the after party I'm looking forward to!! Plus it's some time away so it makes it hard to plan. Knowing me I'll buy a dress the night before!!!

Ok, I've had my little rant, now I need to go sleep!