Saturday, 17 March 2012


That's how I feel ATM. Stressed out, burned out, and pissed off! (excuse the language). So, anyway, in terms of work, it feels like I've been spun round 360 degrees and now my head is on the wrong way. I went off on a weeks break (much needed and not long enough), and I was defined as one thing, go back and EVERYTHING has changed at once. I knew changes were coming and I knew they'd be fast, but this is something else. My job role has changed. Before, I could run a team of staff and work side by side, dipping in and out to do paperwork.

Now, I run the team from behind a door, suddenly I've got loads of responsibility that I wasn't expecting. Rumour has it that theres going to be more money in it for me.
That's not the only thing though. I regularly don't finish until 10pm, its usually 10.30 before I get in the door (sometimes later if I get held up) and its become very hard to switch off.
Consequently I am driving everyone crazy!
I thought about quitting today, but realised (yet again) like it or not I'm good at what I do. Least now I know how all those superheroes must have felt in the marvel comics! I don't want to be a superhero though...I didn't ask to be good at my job, I try to be average and I want more. I get more and then I get stressed out.
mr A says my job role has changed and I need to get used to it, and I have a feeling he's right, I'll be fine once I've adjusted.
There are a few things I want though, if I'm to formally take these responsibilities. Two days off back to back for one!! ATM I only get one at a time, it's not enough time to recover. It might mean I have to do 7 or 8 days solid but I wouldn't mind that.
A guaranteed weekend off every month, without fail. I haven't had one yet this month, and I feel like I've barely seen mr A.

I did my back in on Monday night, and I was off sick wednesday and thursday, didnt get any stitching done, couldn't get comfy.
I have decided to start sorting my brain out though. Rule one, doing lates is fine, just means if I wanna get the most out of my mornings I need to get up earlier. I've done it on and off for the last week or so and it does help. And I'm not as tired as I thought I would be. Decided its 7am on weekdays and 8am on a Sunday if I'm not working.
I need to get back to my stitching. So often I say I haven't got time. I need to make time! Getting up early should sort that out.
Mr A are trying to plan a wedding but we have no idea how much we want to spend or how we want to do it. I'm for a quiet wedding, but mr A wants to make sure we have a nice day. That's fine, but it doesn't have to cost the earth. The wedding is a formality, it's the after party I'm looking forward to!! Plus it's some time away so it makes it hard to plan. Knowing me I'll buy a dress the night before!!!

Ok, I've had my little rant, now I need to go sleep!

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